I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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