better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
