am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
PANTIES FOUND
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