Whod you bang
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
