i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize