since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize