I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
