apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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