Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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