i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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