Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
