i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
