Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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