Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
