Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
