So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You are a genius and a whore.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
