my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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