Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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