everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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