giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
