I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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