It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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