I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
