I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police