the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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