I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize