if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night