we should wear snuggies to the strip club
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
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It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
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Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
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I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔