You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.