yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
