Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
