are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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