just come out here and I will go home with you...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
