And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I wish you could order shots online.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
