they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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