I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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