I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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