I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
