evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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