you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
