Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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