We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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