I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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