I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
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We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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