He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
