Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
