1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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