I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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