i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
