YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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