Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
