I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
