porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
