i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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