Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize