just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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