I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
