dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
