he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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