the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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