Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
