we're blogging at a bar
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
