i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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