highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
