He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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