You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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