someone threw a dead crab at me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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