Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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