it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
