I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
